Isn't it funny how you always try to prove to the people around you that you are actually doing your best and that you don't do those things that they say you do...and then right after they say that...you do them, and you realize that you aren't doing your best...not even close. And then what do you do? Say "oh sorry you were right" and then just continue to do it? Or do you actually get off your ass and start trying, actually trying and not putting things off. No, apparetnly I can't.
I go through the week saying "if I can just get to Friday, then I can actually get some sleep and I can catch up on all of my homework and I can get some cleaning done and I can spend some time with the ducks so that they're not so neglected all the time." And you know what happens? I don't do shit through the week, so I end up having to cram everything into the last few hours of Sunday night without falling asleep because I'm still not getting enough sleep even though I should be because there has to be time because I'm not doing anything productive so what else could I possibly be doing? And then I get back to school on Monday morning and I'm exhusted and I didn't even get all of my work done because I was so tired the night before and it was 2 am and I still wasn't finished.
I think the portion of the brain that contains commonsense doesn't exist in my head.
I am supposed to be going to NC Thurs. shortly after I get out of class, well, due to the fact that I put alot of things off for way too long and other circumstances out of my control, I won't be leaving untill much later and I will have to be rushing around trying to leave...not what I wanted. But, then again, when do we ever get what we want when we can't even to the things that need to be done?
*sigh* I'm done blabbing, atleast right now.
I am just so tired of never doing the things that need to get done, and when I do, its not done right or on time.
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I read a book recently that reminded me that we live in a world full of distractions and "duties" for which we were never intended. The busy, busy, hustle and bustle is not how God intends us to live. A fallen world puts those expectations upon us and so we wander around half asleep, exhausted and frustrated trying to keep up the pace. I pray there will be time for the important things and that the rest will follow.
Love you and I thank you for coming and don't rush on my account! Take your time, get some rest, you'll be here when you get here.
JoJo
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