Age is weird

I find it so mind boggling that I'm turning 21 in a few days...I honestly keep forgetting...my best friend and parents had to keep reminding me that it's been coming up...I just don't feel 21.

Part of me feels 6 years old, just living life and having a fun time doing it with as little care as possible. Part of me feels 17, trying to figure out who I am and what I want out of life. But most of me feels about 30, mature with many lessons learned years earlier than normal...I feel like I have found my niche and I am happy and content, while still very much looking toward the future.
But I don't feel 21, I don't think that I will ever be that "age". By that I mean I don't think I'll ever go through that stage in life where I'm just having fun, exploring different things, going out to parties, dating around, carefree but independent. I skipped that stage, and I don't think you can go back to it. I don't think I want to ever go through it. It doesn't interest me.
I was talking to my mom about this recently, about how I seem to have learned too many life lessons for my age, and for whatever reason I have people in my life that are obviously put into my life so that I can help teach and guide them through those really hard lessons...these people are older than me by about 3 years. Sometimes this bothers me, sometimes it makes me happy that I learned those things when I did. But mostly, its just weird.

I have lived on this earth for 21 years, but my soul bounces between 30, 6, and 17. I don't know that I will ever feel my own age, I might have in the past, but I don't remember ever truly feeling my own age.

I'm rambling. This I guess has just been on my mind a lot lately.