Monday, April 23, 2007

Not ready

As life as an "adult" (if you really want to call it that) is rearing its big scary ugly head up at me, it is all coming faster and faster.
I was one of the few that realized that everything goes by really fast and that I should hold onto every moment. But for some reason its like life has been put on fastforward. I am graduating soon, prom is in less than a month as well as another chorus concert and my birthday. Guard will be officially over next Saturday...and just typing that makes me cry. It is one of the hardest things I am going to have to give up and I am so not ready for it. I'm not alowed to come back to assist/teach/or tech for another year along with either DCI or WGI under my belt, and honestly I don't know if that will happen because I have school, and frankly I am so sick of freaking school I want it done as soon as possible. I also highly highly doubt that I could even get into a corp or independent group.
I am not one of those kids so eager to leave their hometown and get as far away from my parents as I can. I love the small country town I live in, I love my parents more than anything. I love my friends, I love my guard......I love my guard, I love my guard. I don't want to leave them, and I have to. It sucks, major ass. (sorry)

I'm not ready...I don't want to be ready yet. But life doesn't stop for the insecure....and unfortunatly I am one of the insecure.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Change sucks! But I know you are going to be more than ok!! You need to come visit!!! :0)

Love you!

Anonymous said...

Psalm 91
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the LORD, who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."